Like most of the other things in my life, my computer is changing too. cogfoot was a gift. The gift is this particular machine, yes, but also it is the gift of technology and having the tools that serve me well. Without cogfoot I would not be able to get my next laptop. The person who gifted me with cogfoot helped teach me to look beyond the particular thing and look to the way it helps you – the function is the key. Maybe that’s just what I tell myself to not get dragged down by nostalgia and grief. It’s a little sad to see cogfoot go. Maybe a lot. But I’m also learning that sometimes you have to let go to move ahead into the future.

Hello, Kaleidoscope.

I am grateful.

a reminder to live the life of my own choosing.

Also, to GET BACK TO WORK!

(or playing or eating or sleeping or whatever the next thing is.)

I have lived in my current home longer than any other since I was 12 (almost 5 years at Cakebread!)

I have been in school longer than ever before.

My longest relationship is over and has been over for just under a year.

!~~!~~!~~!

Before 2007 I was a very transient gal. I lived in all sorts of places and moved around within them. I think the time spent moving between mom’s house and dad’s house informed a pattern of movement and comfort in not having a completely solid home base.

Now that I’ve been living in the same place for awhile, I notice that my stuff has accumulated a lot. I’m a person that gets attached to objects. I think not moving has exacerbated this tendency of mine.

I feel also that with each move that I made I was able to transcend my previous self and transform into more of myself. Being in a new place with new people with a new role offers an incredible opportunity to present and manifest new parts of myself!

Those moves coincided with my being a young adult, so of course a lot of personal transformation and growth was happening in general. I think the travel contributed to that growth and offered new avenues of interaction.

As my life has continued onward, I have accumulated not just stuff, but thoughts, experiences, hopes, dreams, fears, etc, etc.. So much to hold in one person! My challenge now is to manage all that, to let it sink in and to just be with it, to be it. To carry on with lightness and dedication to what I value.

Question!

**How have you continued to transform as your life progresses?

I’ve been challenged by love the past year (and indeed before that too, but especially in recent memory).

I long to reach out and connect romantically. Yet, at this point in my life, it seems I find greater strength (confidence, peace, motivation, etc.) when I’m on my own. Ideally, romance and personal strength will match up one day.

At certain times I feel a strong pull from the external world to press on, at other times, my internal world drives me forward. The interplay between love and romance as an external point of reference and motivator and my own internal personal drive to manifest my dreams has been a challenge to recognize and balance.

I am grateful to be coming to understand these aspects of myself and my relationship with other people and the world better.

creativity, camping, music, learning, reading, dancing, the redwood forest, kissing, dressing up, games, traveling, circus, technology, bagels, the moon, colors in nature, writing, bicycling, dogs, and googly eyes.

sweet.